Pre-Midlife Crisis
I’m just going to warn you right now…there is no resolution at the end of this post. I know our millions of one or two faithful readers have come to expect advice about the topics we write about, but I just don’t have it right now.
That said, I think I’m going through a pre-midlife crisis. I was thinking the other day that I identify myself as a mother…more specifically an attachment parenting mom…and even more specifically, a breastfeeding mom, a baby-wearing mom, a cloth-diapering mom, a co-sleeping mom, etc. But what happens when they get older? What happens when they’re potty trained and are too big for the Peanut Shell (yes, I still wear Ava in it occasionally) and don’t need to sleep in our bed anymore (Ava’s already past that point)? I honestly don’t know how I’m going to define myself then! I don’t even remember how I defined myself before I had kids. Funny how children come along and wrap your whole world around themselves and leave you not knowing who you were before and who you will be in the future. Or is this just me? All I know is I need to slow down the hands of time!
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Lora, just take one day at a time. Don’t worry about when they get older. Just deal with the day’s own activities and find enjoyment in each day. You will adjust with each stage of their life…it happens without you realizing it sometimes. Take time to nurture and develop your own interests when they get a little bit older.
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Yours is not an unusual question! I wondered that same thing many times over the years and did indeed feel “lost” as times in the hustle and bustle of child rearing. As your children grow and mature, you will do so right along side them. What you were in the past, are right now, and will be as they grow, will never be the same. Opportunities will come along for you to grow into your own person again. Right now who you are is defined by your children and their needs. Try to get that occasional trip to the store alone, or to the library or wherever so that you can regroup and just be “you” for awhile, and then you will feel happier to be home and be “mom” again. You are truly blessed to be able to be a stay-at-home mom and be the one to raise your children. There are lots of moms out here who will be happy to lend a sympathetic ear when you need to let out the stress! It will get easier and you will have your own identity when they are grown!
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Over time, I think you’ll find yourself being defined as your children’s bestfriend mom, a creative mom, a teaching mom, a sewing and crafts mom, a conversation partner to your children mom, etc. But most importantly, something you were before, are now, and will always be, your husband’s best friend
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