Give Them A Choice!
Right now I’m reading The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I’m really learning a lot and highly recommend it, especially to parents of toddlers.
One of the techniques I’ve tried is to give them a choice. Children like to make their own choices…this is pretty understandable since they get told what to do or not to do so often. To avoid a tantrum or meltdown when you have to tell them “no” about something, you can offer them a choice between two other things. For instance, when the child says she wants a cookie for a snack, you can say, “We’re going to have fruit right now. Would you like a banana or an apple?”
This technique worked really well for me today. It was almost nap time and I was just finishing feeding Kelvin. Chad was out mowing the backyard and I had opened the porch door so she could watch him, but locked the door going outside so that she couldn’t get near the lawn mower. She came back in and said she wanted to go by Daddy. I told her no, but she could watch from the porch. Since she was really tired, she started to have a meltdown. I asked her, “Do you want to go watch Daddy or do you want to go upstairs right now to take a nap?” She stopped fussing, looked at me, said, “Daddy” and went back on the porch.
That was it! I was shocked that it worked that well. I’m sure I’d unknowingly practiced this technique plenty of times before, but since I hadn’t done it “on purpose”, I guess I’d never paid attention to the results as much. Obviously, it isn’t appropriate in all situations and I’m sure it can be overused and lose its effectiveness….but I’m definitely keeping this trick in my “parenting tool box”!
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