For the last five days, I’ve had a pretty sick kiddo.  Amid nearly-non-stop diaper changes, changing puke-y pajamas and bedding, mountains of laundry, an ER visit, doctor appointments, and now another kiddo that seems like she might be getting sick, I’m barely keeping my head above water here.  Definitely no time for browsing sites like carinsurancelist.com! This morning, I looked around the house and saw things that needed to be picked up, put away, cleaned, or otherwise taken care of in every single room.  Even with Kelvin in the Moby Wrap, it’s still hard to do clutter control since it’s harder to bend down and get back up.  What to do?!

I remembered something I’d heard awhile ago.  I don’t remember if I read it on a blog, or if someone told me this, but it’s become very valuable right now.  They said that in times of stress like this, just focus on the three D’s: Dinner, Dishes, and Duds.  I would probably make that 4 D’s for our family, since we have Diapers, too.

Focusing on the three D’s isn’t something that you can do all the time….during normal times, the bathrooms still need to be cleaned, floors need to be mopped and clutter needs to be controlled.  But during a time when you’re barely keeping your head above water, these things will keep your home running smoothly until you’re able to get back into a normal routine.

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I used to be an early bird…..way back before I had kids.  I was most productive in the morning and couldn’t wait to get out of bed and get going.  In fact, when Chad was working for his dad and would leave for work at 4 am, I would often get up then and clean the house or do homework for school.

I would love to continue being an early riser now…I think it would be awesome to be able to exercise (no apidexin for me!) and get my day going without the company of small people first thing in the morning.  But as soon as they hear me up, both of them wake up so I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.

So instead I’m stuck staying up until midnight or later trying to get work done.  I’m definitely not at my best, but it’s the only time I don’t have constant interruptions.  At least the kids sleep in until 8 so I can still get some sleep…..

….until lately.

Lately, they’ve been getting up before 7, which is oh so rude when I stayed up past midnight.  Something is going to have to give.  If they’re going to keep getting up so early, I’m going to have to come up with another solution to get stuff done and not stay up so late.  I have no earthly idea what that would be, but I can’t keep drinking my weight in coffee everyday!

Any suggestions….either for rearranging my schedule or for getting the kids to sleep later?

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I love my readers and I would never want you to go through the stressful, overwhelming, downright nasty week I’m going through right now.  So….I’m going to reveal what a failure I am at birthday planning so all of you can learn from my mistakes.  So listen up!

Here is what not to do:

1. Do not decide on a party theme without first confirming that your store of choice does, in fact, carry party supplies in that theme.  Even if they carried that theme last year.  And if you disregard this advice, please for the love of purple, do not wait to shop for party supplies until three days before the party.  Bad, bad, bad idea!
2. Do not limit the number of invitations you pass out to the number of people you’d like at the party.  Pass out an extra few or ten.  Remember that many of the people with children over the age of 3 will have scheduling conflicts.
3. Do not plan a pinata as one of the party activities if the majority of the party attendees will end up being under the age of two (see Mistake #2).  Also a bad idea if it might snow the day before and you don’t want candy in all your couch cushions.  If you insist on planning a pinata anyway, keep your receipt!
4. Do not expect to have the house perfect for your houseguests that are arriving the day of the party.  Not only will it look like Party America threw up all over your house, but there’s a good chance you won’t have time to vacuum under the couch or wipe out the refrigerator, with all the punch-mixing and gift-wrapping and streamer-hanging.  Pat yourself on the back if the bathrooms are clean and the main rooms are vacuumed because now is not the time for deep cleaning!!  Daniel and Jessica, if you’re reading this, let me assure you that sometimes my walls don’t have fingerprints all over them, and sometimes there isn’t dust on the end tables and sometimes I don’t still have snowmen decorations on the mantle at the end of March….but you’ll probably have to come back again to see it!
5. Do not let yourself get so stressed out that you lose sight of the reason you’re doing this in the first place!  Let a few things go so you can enjoy this time!  No stress-related eczema allowed!

Did you notice there was nothing on this list about a cake?  Hopefully it will stay that way!  My friend Miriam is coming on Friday to help me do a Dora cake.  I know she’s made this exact cake before and it looked so cute, so hopefully I won’t do anything to mess it up!

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I am eyeball-deep in spring cleaning right now.  Every year, we celebrate the Days of Unleavened Bread where we clean all of the leavening out of our homes, from loaves of bread down to the tiny crumbs in the silverware drawer.  For the last few years, I’ve had pretty good reasons to simply stick to deleavening and not do any extra spring cleaning (first having a newborn, then being on bedrest with Kelvin, then having two children under the age of two).  But this year, I don’t really have any good reasons, so I’ve been busy!  (I should probably use that same logic to get myself on that refurbished fitness equipment, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.  Wouldn’t want you to pass out!)

Anyway…

Anytime I clean I have lots of “help”!  Normally, if I told you I had help, you’d think it would help me get the job done quicker, but not in this case!  In this case, it means I have a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old emptying every box I fill, climbing on chairs to reach the stuff I purposely put out of their reach, and fighting over all the stuff I unearth from under the couch!

Here are five tips to make cleaning with children more enjoyable, without plopping them in front of the TV.  Not saying there’s anything wrong with letting them watch TV in moderation so you can get a few things done, but obviously you don’t want to be doing that every time! 

1. Give them a job.  If you don’t give them one, they’ll find their own and it will probably be one you don’t want them to have!  As I’ve been cleaning out cupboards the last few days, I hand them things as I take them out and let them put them on the floor so I can sort through them.  I also let them load up boxes with things that we’re packing away (and then I re-organize the box later when they’re not looking).
2. Give them “special” cleaning supplies.  My kids would love nothing more than to get their hands on all the cleaning bottles under the sink, but I don’t want them getting chemicals on their hands (for obvious reasons).  Instead, I fill clean squirt bottles with plain water, give them a rag or paper towel and they never know the difference!  You can even get brightly colored bottles, which they love even more!  I also have a child-size broom and dustpan that they use while I sweep.
3. Make it fun!  Turn on upbeat music, challenge them to a race, ask them to hand you all the red items (then blue, then yellow, etc.).
4. Have alternative activities on hand.  Even the most helpful child will probably run out of steam before the job is done, so have puzzles or books nearby to keep them busy while you finish the job.
5. Plan an easy follow-up meal.  I don’t know about your kids, but mine would not appreciate spending time helping me clean only to have me turn around and start cooking dinner.  On days when I have quite a bit of cleaning to do, I have a casserole thawing from the freezer so I can just pop it in the oven when it gets close to dinner time.  You could also plan something simple like soup and sandwiches.

What are your best tips for cleaning with your children?

For more great tips and tricks, visit Works For Me Wednesday temporarily hosted at Rocks in My Dryer.

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For the last few years, I’ve heard fellow moms around the blogosphere raving about the Motivated Moms planner (Click here to visit Motivated Moms.).  I always clicked over to see what it was all about, but never did anything about it.  This year, I decided to change that.

Our house is reasonably clean the majority of the time, but I don’t have a system in place to keep it that way.  I just run around putting out fires and it’s stressful!  Already, I can tell that this planner is going to help with that!  Each day, it has a list of daily chores for you to do, plus another list of chores for that particular day.  They even have a version of the planner that has daily Bible readings scheduled in (which I took advantage of)!

It does cost $8 (no matter which version you get), but it’s $8 well-spent in my opinion.  I’ve already looked through the entire e-book and am so excited about the changes I anticipate this bringing to our home (maybe it will even leave more time for rv repair…if that was something I needed time for! LOL).  For the record, I ordered the full-size page-per-day with Bible reading planner.

Update
You can now get $1 off your order when you use the coupon code NEWYEAR. This code is valid through January 14, 2010. Thanks, Laurie!

Disclaimer: I have not received any compensation or free products from Motivated Moms for this post.  It was written because I really like this product.  However, I am an affiliate of Motivated Moms and will receive a small percentage for every planner bought through the link above.

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One of the things I really struggled with after having a baby and especially after we had two was the housework.  Before I had kids, I had a system that really worked well for me.  I used a card file to organize all my chores and everything got done when it needed to.  But with all the chaos of having children, the card file quickly gathered dust.  I would forget to check it or would get off track because I didn’t have time to do certain things on the days they were supposed to be done on.

I tried several other systems before I hit on one that I’ve been using since Kelvin was born.  This works for me because it’s completely flexible and can change with our weeks, which are always different.

First, I made a list of all the things I want to get done every week.  Since I still have two small children, it doesn’t include detailed cleaning.  It’s just the basics that have to get done (sweeping, light dusting, cleaning bathrooms, etc.)….there will be plenty of time to dust the baseboards when the kids are older!!  Hey, maybe then they can even do it for me!!

Then every Sunday when I’m planning my week, I look at all the activities we have going on and figure out which days would be good for doing each chore.  For instance, I’m not going to try to sweep the house the day we have appointments and grocery shopping.  Then I write each chore from my list onto a day on the calendar.  Some days have three or four, some days don’t have any.  It all depends on what’s going on.

Now what about bigger jobs that don’t need to get done every week, but still need attention (like scrubbing the bedroom floors, vacuuming the stairs, purging the medicine cabinet, etc.)?  I don’t have a list of these jobs, but you could definitely make one if it would help you.  I just pick one thing that’s been bothering me to get done each week.  That way, things are getting done when they need to be done, not when they’re not even dirty yet.

I would highly recommend this system to any mom.  Let’s face it…none of our weeks are the same.  Some weeks, we have insanely busy Wednesdays, other weeks our busy day is Monday.  This system lets you schedule your housework around existing commitments, but since it is scheduled and it’s right there on your calendar, you don’t forget about it.  There’s nothing worse than realizing it’s Friday, the house is a wreck and you haven’t done any of the housework you needed to for the week yet!

For more fabulous organizing tips (and some giveaways this week!), visit Works For Me Wednesday!

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Before I had kids, I was nothing if not a morning person.  Morning was my most productive time of the day and the earlier I got up, the better!  In fact, when Chad would have to leave for work at 4 am, I would stay up after he left and clean the house before I went to work.

But now I have two alarm clocks in cute little pint-size bodies.  They get me up all night long and then insist on getting up for the day far too early.  Needless to say, I don’t get much done in the mornings anymore.  Especially since night-time is now my most productive time, since it’s my only alone time!

But, like it or not, I have to hit the ground running in the mornings.  For several months after Kelvin was born, I struggled with getting through the whole breakfast/clean-up/getting dressed routine before noon without someone or everyone melting down.  Then I discovered the benefits of preparing for the day the night before…which is perfect because that’s my most productive time anyway!

Here’s what I make sure to do every night:

1. Unload the dishwasher.  I run it after supper and unload it after the kids go to bed.
2. Get Kelvin’s meals ready.  Since I make my own baby food and have it stored in the freezer, I just get out the food he’s going to eat that day and have it in bowls in the refrigerator all ready to go.  All I have to do is heat it up!
3. Fill up the kids’ sippy cups and pour a cup of milk for Ava (stored in the fridge, of course).
4. Set up the coffee pot.
5. Clean up the downstairs.  I wipe the kitchen counters with Clorox wipes, pick up the living room and sweep the floors.  Coming downstairs to a messy house really puts a damper on the morning!
6. Check the weather and lay out clothes.
7. Take my shower.  Even if I don’t do any of the rest of these things, this one is the most important.  If I tried to squeeze in a shower every morning, I’m sure it wouldn’t happen most days!
8. Fill out my Daily Docket.  (Thanks Simple Mom!).  It’s good to have an idea of what our day will look like and what activities we’ll be doing, whether we’re going to stay home, run errands or go to the park and play on the swing sets!

Yes, it’s a lot of work at night, but it makes the mornings run so much smoother!!!  And a smooth morning paves the way for a great day!!

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Lately, I’ve been having a string of days filled with a terrible two’s attitude and a clingy baby and nights filled with fussing and wakefulness.  I wake up feeling just as exhausted as I was when I went to bed.  So “burnout” is putting it mildly for me right now!

Here are some of the best strategies for avoiding burnout, or at least preventing it from getting too out-of-hand.

1. Take care of yourself.  It’s really hard to take care of other people when you haven’t been taking care of yourself as well as you should.  This includes getting enough sleep, eating well and getting exercise.  I will be the first one to admit that I fall miserably short in most of these areas quite a bit of the time.  But when I’m focusing on these things, I feel so much better and it’s much easier to face the day and everything I need t0 do.
2. Take time for yourself.  Motherhood is a very selfless lifestyle.  The kids’ needs always need to be prioritized.  But when you get a break (nap time or bedtime), make sure to take a few minutes to do something you enjoy doing.  Lately, I’ve been reading for a little bit every night before I go to bed.  After spending all day doing the things I have to do, it’s amazing what just 10 minutes (because that’s about all I have before I’m too tired to keep my eyes open anymore) spent on myself can do for my attitude!  I also make sure I take a shower every day after the kids go to bed.  I do it at night so that I don’t have little people whining or popping their heads in the shower every couple minutes.  That is MY time and everyone knows it!
3. Make a Ta-Da list when you’re feeling especially overwhelmed.  This is a concept I got from Flylady awhile back.  Basically, you make a list of everything that you accomplished that day.  Just today, I was telling Chad that I got nothing done all day.  Then I realized that wasn’t true.  I took the kids to get their pictures done, I washed diaper covers, I washed diapers, I finally found all 40 cupcakes (don’t ask) and the list goes on.  But because those things weren’t things on my to do list, I don’t feel like I accomplished anything.  Now, if I’d gotten our hall closet organized like I’ve been wanting to do for weeks, I would have been all excited because I’d “gotten something done”!  A Ta-Da list can help shift your thinking and keep you from getting discouraged because you’re “getting nothing done”.
4. Find a good balance between getting out of the house and staying at home.  Most people will tell you to get out of the house to avoid burnout.  But if I’m running around every day, everything at home starts to suffer and I end up feeling overwhelmed and burned out.  But if I stay home every day and never get any social interaction, I end up feeling lonely an isolated.  That’s why it’s important to find a balance between the two.  For me, I have one errand-running day, one day at church and I try to get the kids to 2 playgroup a week.  This leaves 3 days for us to stay at home all day (plus, we’re not gone all day on the days we do go out).  This works really well for me at this time in our life.
5. Take a vacation day!  Obviously, moms don’t get a vacation, at least not when their kids are really small.  But every once in awhile, I have to have a day where I don’t do anything except the bare minimum.  I still change diapers and feed kids, of course, but everything else gets scaled back.  We stay in our pajamas, get a casserole out of the freezer for dinner, and just hang out and play and read books and watch Sesame Street together.  Believe me, it works!
6. Above all else, remember that this too shall pass….and someday we’re going to look back and miss it.  Try to enjoy the little things!

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I have a theory about mommy guilt. Maybe it’s something everyone else already knows and it’s just taken me this long to figure it out, but no one told me this, so it’s still my theory! It is that mommy guilt is a direct result of anticipating how other people will judge you.

Let me tell you how I came to this conclusion.

This morning, the mailman knocked on the door to give me a package. I answered the door in my pajamas…for the second day in a row! I instantly felt guilty and thought, “He must think I never get dressed and just lounge around in my pajamas all day every day!” See how the guilt came along with assuming he was judging me?

Then I realized I should not be feeling guilty! Even if he was judging me for still being in my pajamas, he had no idea that I’d been up 3 or 4 times the night before with an inconsolable baby who woke his sister up every time he woke up! He also didn’t know that I’d spent the morning changing diapers, making breakfast, washing diapers, and cooking a meal to bring to a family who’d just had a baby! And he didn’t know that when he knocked, I’d been in the middle of doing Ava’s alphabet flash cards (one of her very favorite things in the world!) with her! So even if he was judging me, who cares? I hadn’t done anything wrong! I’d just been so focused on my family that I hadn’t had time to get dressed yet (or even have a cup of coffee…yikes!).

That got me thinking how often I’ve judged other mothers without really knowing their situation (and I know I’m not the only one!). OK, some mothers deserve to be judged, but when it comes to a mom who’s really trying her best, we ought to cut her a little slack! We’re all in the trenches together!

Besides, I’ve found that a lot of the things I’ve judged other mothers for, I’ve ended up doing myself. For instance, I’d always judged moms who had their kids on “leashes”. Yup, you guessed it! After Kelvin was born, it became almost impossible to keep both kids under control in a store by myself, so I had to buy a cute little harness for her (which she loves, by the way…she’s always asking to put her puppy backpack on).

Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent there, but I guess my point is that we need to not worry so much about what other people think and just concentrate on what we know is true and cut other mommies a little slack, too! After all, we don’t want to contribute to other people’s Mommy Guilt, do we?

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Here’s what I’ve learned about having two kids under two years old so far:

1. Empty the diaper pail.  Now.  Even though Kelvin is cloth-diapered 95% of the time, it’s crazy how fast the diaper pails fill up!!
2. Let the house go.  Honestly, the only things I’m keeping up with right now are laundry and dishes.  I wash laundry one day, fold it the next (we do laundry every other day around here).  I run the dishwasher every other day and empty it the next day.  I try to pick up the living room once a day after Ava goes to bed.  That’s about all I have time for at this point and that’s OK for right now!  A little dust never killed anyone!
3. Don’t expect too much.  Two kids is a full-time job (especially when one has acid reflux and insists on being held CONSTANTLY!), so I try to be realistic in my expectations on what I can get done.
4. I can spend quality time with Ava while I’m tied down nursing Kelvin.  We read lots of books while I’m feeding him!
5. Stay connected to friends and family.  It’s important for me just to have people to talk to and share every day life with, and it’s important to them because they want to keep up to date on everything going on with the kids, especially since all our family lives so far away.
6. Turn on some music or the TV.  It’s really hard sometimes being stuck in the house with only two little people, neither of which can string two words together.  Background noise is essential to maintain my sanity!
7. Showers rock!  It took me awhile to figure out how to squeeze in a daily shower (by myself), but I think I have it down now.  At this point, that’s pretty much the only thing I get to do everyday for me, so I look forward to it.
8. Use a baby carrier.  Kelvin’s still getting used to it, but my Peanut Shell is a lifesaver sometimes!
9. Ignore the clock.  There’s no point in even trying to get anything done by a certain time when my everyday life is dictated by two people who can’t tell time.
10. Don’t blink.  Even though it can be overwhelming sometimes, I know I’ll look back and miss this someday.  It’s going to go so fast and if I blink I might miss it!

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