Archive for the ‘Miscarriage’ Category
Today is a day I’ve been dreading for awhile. Today was my due date for the baby I miscarried last summer. Actually, though, today hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be….mainly because I’ve been busy with other things that have kept me distracted. But the whole last month has been rough because I kept thinking about how we would be anticipating the baby’s arrival and wondering when it would make its grand entrance. If only things had been different.
I feel a little guilty feeling this way, since I’m 6 months pregnant right now. I guess I kind of expected this baby to “replace” the one we lost. I wouldn’t have said it quite like that, but that’s how I felt. And of course, knowing that we’re having another baby soon makes it much more bearable…I can’t imagine what I’d be feeling today if I wasn’t already pregnant again. It wouldn’t be pretty!
I found this description of a “rainbow baby” and I think it describes the little guy we get to meet in June perfectly!
“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
Even though I’m thrilled that we have another one on the way, it doesn’t mean I don’t still think about what might have been and wonder if that baby would have been a boy or girl, what it would have looked like, and what its personality would have been like.
I don’t have any more words or any cute way to wrap up this post, so I’ll do it with this song. I found it a few weeks ago and I love it. I wish I would have found it back when I had the miscarriage and I was really struggling.